By: Who do you think wrote this? I'll give you a hint. His name rhymes with sick and that you'll feel the same way after meeting him. Not enough? Fine..... I'll give you another. I like to think that i am a FRIEND to a pink FIEND who was famous for making people LAUGH to death.
It was a cold, dark, and moonless night in Poneyville and eveyone was asleep. Except, maybe two creatures. One of which was a unicorn that gone by the unexciting name Twilight Sparkle who was just waking up. "Wha, whats happening? Where Am I? How did I get here?" she started wondering aloud in surprisement. She then saw a camera, and a speaker right below it. Then as suddenly as she saw the two objects a voice came out of the speaker. "You are experiencing fearvoice began to say, "...an anticipation for some specific pain or danger, this is perfectly understandable".
"Who are you and why did you bring me hear." the unicorn inquired to the voice. "The answer for the first question is Archaic." the voice said "And let me answer the second one with a question if you will. Do you remember your friend or if you'd prefer fiend Pinkie Pie?". Twilight then remember Pinkie who she had locked up in an asylum far from the town. Then she remembered the terrible things she did to the residents of Ponyville. She then recoiled at what she did. Killing Rainbow Dash. Toturing Raity with the intention of turning her into a dress. Getting into Apple Bloom's head and basically turned her into a little Pinkie. "Ah, so you do remember her" the voice said, interrupting her thoughts " I thought you might have forgotten about her. It's not nice to forget about good old friends is it?". Twilight then interrupted the voice "What about her". "Well..." the the voice paused for a second or so "Pinkie and me used to have a deal. You see when she grabbed her victims for what she what she was famous for, she would give me a second pony to 'play' with myself". "So, what's your point" The unicorn said getting annoyed now by the voice. "As I was saying, the pony she gave me was always similar to the one she got herself. It was the day she took in that young naive fillie, Apple Bloom was it that I got a shortened amount of "toys" to play with and I decided to do something about it. After the week she brought the griffin into her bakery I thought of an ingenius method to get under her skin and make her remember her 'best' friend. Sadly by the time you found where she was and had her incarcerated I had only gotten to do the trick three times and I couldn't tell her. Seeing as you were the one to catch her, and one of the supposedly brightest minds in the kingdom, I thought you were the perfect contestant to participate in the game the other ponies would play". "What is this game then?" Twilight replied. The announcer calling himself "Archaic" began to answer "it's a simple game. all you have to do is answer a number of riddles and if you win you get a prize that I picked out just for you." "And what is it?" twilight said. " Look into the the screen behind you. I think you'll be happy with what you could win". As he finished saying that he saw three ponies in the screen. two of them looked around the same age, while the third looked much older. Then she recognized them all. " You know how earlier I talked about doing a trick on Pinkie. This is it. Now I know you are wondering how are they all here. Let me explain and try to keep your mouth closed no matter how amazed you are. You see I knew of the choices she had picked and during that time I found the pony that best resembled the the three she had picked. Then I painted them hypnotized them and used some magic to change their voices. Finally a half an hour before the the 'operation' I would sneak in, switch theponies, and brought them here. At first I thought of playing with them. But. I remembered you when I saw a paper with your face on it". Twilight was filled with joy as the unicorn was happy to find Rarity was in good condition and both Rainbow and the mayor were alive. "I can see your happiness, and you know what? You can save them all if you participate in my little game!" Archaic said sounding like a game show announcer. "I'll give you a practise question, to show you what your in for." he began "What walks on two legs in the morning, four at noon, and three in the evening?" The Unicorn instantly replied "A dragon obviously" the voice replied" oh close the answer was a baby dragon, when young it walks upright, but cut off the legs he has to use a wheelchair for a while, and in the end theyr're only able to attach one of them" "Why would you make a horrible joke like that" Twilight said in shock. "Because Twi, it's not my baby. Are you ready now?" "I guess" twilight said. "Good!" the voice stated. As he finished talking three pictures came into sight. The pictures were of Applejack, Fluttershy, and Rarity. the voice began to speak "Riddle number one: It's far from purfect but she calls it home. Once you pick a picture show it to me to see if it's right." At first Twilight thought it was Applejack's because of her complaining about how she needs someone to fix up the place. But she then thought that this was to easy to figure out. Then she looked at Fluttershy she knew it couldn't have been her house since it was more of a cabin. And then there was Rarity who's house was absolutely perfect. But, she then thought about it, Rarity had a cat which would make perfect sense with the riddle. She grabbed Rarity's photo and showed it to the camera hoping she did not fail. "Oh dear..." Archaic said disappointingly "You are... correct. Riddle number two: What item is it perfectly be ok to date". Twilight thought of words that goes with the word date. Then she said nervously " A calander". "Oh well, two right, one to go though I must warn you this is the most difficult one" "Bring it" the unicorn said in response. Finally Archaic said "Riddle number three: Who should die, you or your friends?" Twilight's jaw dropped instantly. How could she choose in this situation. Then after five minutes she said " I'll do it, if it means my friends will go". "Twilight Sparkle.." the voice began "...you have chosen..." and as he said this gas began to fill the room and the unicorn began to feel weak and just before she fell to the floor the host said ended with "...correctly". Twilight woke up in the library the next morning. Beside her was Rainbow, the mayor, and Rarity without a scar. All of them were alive and just as Twilight began to wonder if the whole thing was a dream she saw something on her pillow next to her. A letter and about twenty feathers next to it. In cursive the letter read "Hope you all had fun last night. PS remember to talk to Pinkie Pie sometime near the time you read this and read todays paper." Twilight did what the letter said and on the Front Page read. Archaic Lizard-Bird Caught Last Night: Participated in The Cupcake Murders and Good Friends with the Murderer herself. Twilight reading this throw the paper away hoping to never see the beasts face again. Sadly, it wasn't over yet....